N.M Sotzek

Author of the AIM Chronicles

Blog

What is beauty?

Posted by nsotzek on March 1, 2012 at 10:05 PM

I've sent my manuscript to five fabulous people. I'm so grateful for their time and effort, and thankful that they offered to read my book. I don't think they knew what they were getting themselves into, to be honest. Well, one of them did. She's a published author, and I've been a beta for her when I was younger, so I'm confident she knows what she's doing. Oh, and another knows as well. She's an English teacher and was extremely helpful during the early stages of the book.

Now onto something that has recently been bothering me. It may not have an appropriate place in this blog, but it's been on my mind and as a writer, well I can't really stop that.

Beauty.

Has everyone seen this photo?



I certainly have. Friends of mine keep posting this on Facebook, cheering for the classic Hollywood Beauties in the bottom row. The comments on this picture are generally along these lines:

"Um, never."
"Real men like curves. Stop starving yourself! Bigger is always better!"

Since this picture went viral, I've been paying more attention to how people look at me. Big people. That's not fair, actually. There are women who are barely bigger than me as well. And how do they look at me, you wonder?

With disgust.

I'm 5'4" and I weigh 130lbs. I'm darn proud of that. I've never been on a diet in my life. I eat what I want, when I want it...which is usually desserts all the time. I just happen to have a very active metabolism. I'm even on a medication that's supposed to make me retain fluids and make me overweight. An ex-coworker used to tell me all the time how much she wished she was my size, how fat she was, and how skinny I am. She was only ten pounds heavier, and we wear the same size shirts. I'm also an active person, so I have bi-ceps and massive thighs and calves, but a small waist.

I was walking down the street one day and a (larger) woman called out to me: "Eat a hamburger, you stick!"

What makes that okay?

I agree that the mainstream media has told people (both men and women) that thinner is better, and I agree that it's terrible. But absolutely no-one has the right to tell someone else that their weight is unacceptable (unless, of course, it's affecting the person's health). We've fought so hard against the media that now we've completely flipped our thinking. We now assume that every thin person is anorexic or bulimic. We tell each other that no man wants to be with a woman with no meat on her.

If you have a young daughter and you're a plus size but she's naturally thin, are you honestly going to sit her down and tell her: "Darling, you have a problem. No one's going to like you if you don't gain twenty pounds." I would never tell my daughter that, or even the opposite.

What is beauty?

Beauty is health. There are healthy weights, and there are unhealthy weights. Period. If you're a grown woman and you only weigh 60lbs (assuming you're average height), there's a problem. If you're 400lbs (at any height), there's a problem.

This picture represents judgement, which is exactly what it's fighting against. How about a picture that says: they're all hot! We need to be telling each other that we accept each other. People are always promoting that, but we're not really living it.

"Accept me because I'm gay!"
But people can't say that they don't agree with the lifestyle.

"Accept me because I'm black!"
But then people trash white people.

"Accept me because I'm a plus size!"
But then people attack thin people.

I'll accept you, if you accept me. Deal?

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